Margaret Thatcher Dead – Munchkins Celebrate by Munchkin Boq

Ding Dong!

Is anyone at home? Not anymore for Margaret Thatcher who died yesterday from a stroke aged 87 in bed at The Ritz Hotel. An event to what many munchkins celebrating across Munchkin Country have been referring to as ‘a stroke of good luck’.

Arguably there hasn’t been anyone at home since birth in the mind of this woman who rose to power against class and gender barriers to be the UK and the West’s first female Prime Minister. There also hasn’t been British politician so demonized and demurred to since the Pendle Hill Witch Trials of 1612. Witch sympathizers say she put the drive back into Britain and saved the country from rack and ruin. The munchkins say she was a non-stop talking blue and blonde Technicolor nightmare.

Her daughter Carol previously described that her mother had a mind like a website, but in recent years the brain disease Alzheimer’s has mugged the Iron Lady of her fearsome personality and her ability to function in public life. In keeping with the apt adage out of sight out of mind some people could be forgiven for thinking she had popped her ruby slippers yonks ago.

But for many munchkins at long last yesterday they found that their dreams had come true from somewhere over the rainbow when they awoke to the news that the wicked witch was dead. Top of the celebrations ringing out across the land is the song Ding Dong the Witch is Dead. Sales shot up on iTunes and it has become unofficially the new munchkin national anthem. Munchkin Boq said when my council house, which I bought in the eighties, fell out of the sky and landed on the witch triggering the stroke well it was just about the best thing in all of Oz. Other munchkins have suggested her state funeral should be privatized and that ATOS have claimed her fit to work.

Munchkin capital Glasgow was first to get a death party going with hundreds of munchkins gathering in George’s Square toasting her demise with bottles of milk. Meanwhile in the sleepy hamlet of London village one munchkin reorganized the letters on the Ritzy Cinema in Brixton to read ‘MARGARET THATCHERS DEAD LOL’.

Much like the lion, the scarecrow and the tin man in their search to become true to themselves – to become an individual – no one can argue that Thatcher’s self-guiding principle to make sure her own life mattered has been a resounding success. In a diametrically opposed style to finding your heart, brain and courage she ruled the Conservative Party with an iron fist from 1979 to 1990 with pain and suffering highlights for the miners, the unions, the crew members of the Belgrano and the rioters against the Poll Tax.

The tributes (and the race for column inches) have been pouring in:

BAFTA and Golden Globe and Oscar winning munchkin Meryl Streep said it was an honour to play her in the sentimental semi-biographical film The Iron Lady. She said to Fox 411: “Margaret Thatcher was a pioneer, willingly or unwillingly, for the role of women in politics. To have come up, legitimately, through the ranks of the British political system, class bound and gender phobic as it was, in the time that she did and the way that she did, was a formidable achievement….To have given women and girls around the world reason to supplant fantasies of being princesses with a different dream: the real-life option of leading their nation; this was groundbreaking and admirable. Also to return the honour she was brilliant as me in Mama Mia!”

Munchkin  President Barack Obama tweeted in along much the same lines:

Barack Obama Margaret Thatcher

AOL Product Manager Munchkin Sorab Shroff writes here persuasively about her political impact and legacy. While witch-in-waiting Boris Johnson aka wolf in sheep’s clothing said in his Telegraph blog she was much prettier in person than you might expect ‘in an English rose kind of way’ and quoted her as saying ‘Pwhof’ at an EEC summit but it was, he says, how she transformed the country’s self image that has left every politician since Churchill in her shade.

As the events of yesterday unfold many munchkins living in the newly formed United Kingdom of Tesco, X-Factor, Greggs the Bakers and Northern Ireland are asking at what cost has this come about and what does the future hold? Their key point being her father’s greengrocers on the high street in Grantham is now a massage parlour.

Film-maker munchkin Ken Loach said Margaret Thatcher was the most divisive and destructive Prime Minister of modern times. In his latest documentary The Spirit of ’45 he looks to the past when the NHS and welfare state began in the hope to inspire a new breed of politicians to be more socially-minded today. Another exalting film on release is Will and Testament about Labour’s longest serving munchkin MP Tony Benn. Munchkins are campaigning that every newly elected politician should see these films back to back before taking up their seat in the Houses of Parliament.

Munchkin Dr Seuss who treated the witch on her deathbed said it’s hard to know if she was conscious of who she was or that if she knew in actual fact she was dying. For most sufferers this last point is possibly the only saving grace of the disease but in this particular case it is probably it’s biggest tragedy.

He said her final words were:

I know that some people

Call me Tony Soprano

I was right on the money

About the Belgrano

After her body was taken from the hotel in a private ambulance Dr Seuss said a munchkin nurse nearby was heard to mutter quietly under her breath, ‘No you weren’t’.

Margaret Thatcher’s funeral is due to take place next week at St Paul’s Cathedral with full military honours. Our thoughts and condolences go out to the family. It’s not their fault.

Chumbawumba’s Margaret Thatcher EP In Memoriam was mailed out on 8th April to all who pre-ordered the CD. No further orders will be taken. Full tour to follow….

Oz the Great and Powerful the new Disney film starring James Franco was released in February 2013.

 

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